Note: On May 20, 2018/6 Sivan 5778, Rabbi Juli Karol delivered a Yikzor Sermon that powerfully expressed the Jewish perspective on handling loss and illness.ย You can download the pdf version by clicking here.
Shavuot 5778 – Yizkor
Congregation Rodeph Sholom
Rabbi Juliana S. Karol
โIllness is the night-side of life,โ wrote Susan Sontag, โa more onerous citizenship. Everyone who is born holds dual citizenship, in the kingdom of the well and in the kingdom of the sick. Although we all prefer to use only the good passport, sooner or later each of us is obliged, at least for a spell, to identify ourselves as citizens of that other place.โ1ย A cancer patient herself, Sontag composed her essay โIllness as Metaphorโ to protest worn linguistic tropes that exploited disease, linking it to emotional or moral failure. She wrote, โAs once tuberculosis was thought to come from too much passion, afflicting the reckless and sensual, today many people believe that cancer is a disease of insufficient passion, afflicting those who areโฆrepressed.โ2
It is hard enough to contend with sickness, Sontag insisted; patients need not the additional burden of stigma that isolates and wounds them. Sontag was equally lauded and lambasted for this work. Some found liberation in her aggressive defense of the ill while others disparaged her proof texts as outdated and unreflective of contemporary sentiments. One moving critique controverted her condemnation of metaphor, explaining that such thinking helps human beings discover meaning, and is therefore a desirable tool in confronting serious illness, โan important event in a life narrative.โ3ย
Sontag did not ultimately succeed at excising metaphor from our rhetoric around illness, but she did foment lasting change by drawing our attention to the way we speak about the things that scare us. Disease treads awfully close to death, and death, a landscape beyond the horizon of our knowledge, is an arena that scuttles our thoughts and our tongues. Sontag pointed a finger at uncertainty weaving itself into language, shaping images and motifs that become rafts in the turbulent waters of loss, and she demanded nothing less than tenderness in the deployment of our words.
We know well that there are neighboring kingdoms among the well and the sick; the kingdom of security and the kingdom of fear, the kingdom of prosperity and the kingdom of loss, the kingdom of grief and the kingdom of relief. When we gather together for Yizkor, even amidst the joy of festivals, we present ourselves as citizens of those more tenebrous lands, and seek through remembrance and community, to find passage to the kingdoms of comfort and hope. On Shavuot we read the Book of Ruth, the story of a woman who was not born into but chose to receive the blessings and obligations of Torah. Ruth the Moabite is a model for Jews and seekers of Judaism in her assertive loyalty to the Jewish people. Ruth is considered the paradigmatic convert because of her pledge to her mother-in-law Naomi:
ืึ ึผึดื ืึถืึพืึฒืฉึจืึถืจ ืชึผึตืึฐืึึดื ืึตืึึตืึฐ ืึผืึทืึฒืฉึถืึคืจ ืชึผึธืึึดืื ึดืึ ืึธืึึดืื ืขึทืึตึผึฃืึฐ ืขึทืึึผึดื ืึตืืึนืึทึืึดืึฐ ืึฑืึนืึธึฝืื
โFor wherever you go, I will go; wherever you lodge, I will lodge; your people shall be my people, and your God my Godโ (Ruth 1:16). We read the book of Ruth on Shavuot because she reminds us that we, too, must choose Torah over and over again, re-committing ourselves with fervency to our people, to our God, and to Torahโs pursuit of wholeness for the world. What we might overlook in lionizing Ruthโs covenantal promise to Naomi is the very context of loss in which she seeks to form this deeper bond. Ruth is a young widow. Eleventh century commentator, Rashi, explains that Ruthโs husband, Mahlon, and his brother Chilion died after a prolonged punishment from God, suffering financial ruin and the death of their cattle, before dying themselves. We sense, therefore, that Ruth and Naomi were connected through their protracted experience of loss โ widowhood, economic privation, the death of Naomiโs children and Ruthโs prospects for motherhood.
Was it the appeal of Judaism, its rituals and commandments, that drove Ruth to ally herself with Naomi? Was it the depth of her isolation that prompted her to attach herself to the only living relative of her deceased husband? We can only guess at the psychology of our matriarch, but I would contend that both strands of longing permeated her brit with Naomi.
Judaism mourns well. Cultural anthropologist, Gila Silverman, asserts that Jewish traditions around death map harmoniously onto the psychological experience of mourning, recognizing that grief is a normal lifecycle transition that involves a process of accommodation. It is not linear through fixed stages, but an ongoing renegotiation of a relationship, a โcontinuing bond,โ with someone who is no longer physically present, and involves the reconstruction of a meaningful world, and our place in it, following a loss.4
The relationship between Ruth and Naomi is one of profoundly balanced mutuality. Ruth needed Naomi to know her place in the world as a beloved and needed member of a family. She knew Naomi, an elderly widow, would be defenseless without her. But just as Naomi could know physical vulnerability, Ruth was spiritually bereft without Naomiโs faith traditions to reconstitute meaning in her world. โFor wherever you go, I will go; wherever you lodge, I will lodge; your people shall be my people, and your God my Godโ (Ruth 1:16). When widowhood disoriented her, Ruth needed Naomi to be her compass and her comfort, guiding her forward and providing a sense of the familiar, of home. And as Ruth faithfully clung to her mother-in-law, promising never to abandon her, she consecrated herself to a people and to a God that would nurture the communal and theological framework for building their lives anew.
Ruth affirmed her allegiance to Naomi in the context of grave fear. Naomi, robbed of her husband, Elimelech, and two sons, urged her daughters-in-law to turn away from her, ki mar li meod mikem ki yatzah vi yad Adonai, โMy lot is far more bitter than yours, for the hand of Adonai has struck out against meโ (Ruth 1:13). Naomiโs words to her daughters-in-law reflect some of the sentiments that Susan Sontag so passionately excoriated: the idea that illness and loss are somehow contagious, that we should distance ourselves from the afflicted at their time of most acute need. Ruth did not succumb to such benighted notions of suffering, and in her commitment to Naomi, she set the very precedent Sontag sought to promote.
The day before my rabbinical ordination two weeks ago, a shocking loss ripped through the Jewish world. Rabbi Dr. Aaron Panken, zโl, โfell out of the Sabbath skyโ5 in a plane crash that devastated and disoriented my seminary community and beyond. The magnitude of the loss was enormous; he was the person to lay hands on each of us, to bestow our blessing, to serve as a proxy for the faculty and the larger Reform Movement conferring leadership upon us. What could be done in the wake of this tragedy? Ruth modeled the way forward.
The next morning, not twenty-four hours after Rabbi Panken died, we processed into Congregation Emanu El to proclaim our commitment to our people, to our God, and to ourselves,that we would step forward side by side, hand in hand, like Ruth and Naomi, out of the depths of loss into the promise of fellowship. Twenty-five thousand people livestreamed our ordination ceremony. Adrift in loss, words and rituals are our rafts, ferrying us in seas we cannot navigate alone.
Rabbi David Adelson, Dean of the Hebrew Union College in New York, told us something that has found a sacred place in my soul, โHere is the thing about the human heart. Through ourpractice, and our lives, we learn to feel more and more. But we donโt control what the heart feels. We donโt get to choose. The heart that feels pain can feel joy in equal measure.โ6
Grief is seldom felt in isolation. Mingled with relief or gratitude, fear or anger, we mourn in many colors and adjectives and metaphors. The day of my ordination was the first time I held gratitude and grief in such close emotional proximity, unsure of tears that fell over loss or pride, shock or awe.
I beheld the rain and the rainbow at once and I knew with deep certainty that the ritual of ordination itself, the words of prayer and blessing, and their concomitant choreography, bolstered my first trembling steps into the rabbinate.
The way we talk about the things that scare us. The words we say in the face of fear. The rituals we conduct to move us through the touchstones of our lives.
These are our passports to the kingdoms of comfort and hope. With honest recognition that lament is not linear, and that death strikes life with kaleidoscopic emotional impact, leaving each mourner with a unique experience of loss, we can seek out the words and rituals to guide us forward from death. The Jerusalem Talmud proclaims that โOne does not erect monuments for the righteous. Their words and deeds constitute their memorialโ (Shekalim 5:2). I would add as well that our words and our rituals constitute memorials, to the lives of those we lost, to the dreams they entrusted to us, and to the future we will build as inheritors of their greatest gift: life.
1 Susan Sontag, Illness as Metaphorย (Farrar, Straus and Giroux, New York: 1977), p. 3.
2 Ibid., p. 21.
3 Jack Coulehan, โIllness as Metaphor,โ Litmed: Literature Arts Medicine Database , 29 Aug 2006.
https://medhum.med.nyu.edu/view/782.
4 Gila Silverman, โWhat Judaism Teachers Us About Grief and Loss,โ Forward , May 30, 2017.
5 Rabbi David Stern, Eulogy for Rabbi Aaron Panken, May 8, 2018.
6 Rabbi David Adelson, โOrdination 2018: Opening Remarks,โ May 6, 2018.
Justin Callis (he/him), our Cantorial Intern, is a fourth-year student at Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion in the Debbie Friedman School of Sacred Music. He is the recipient of the Reuben Peretz Abelson Prize for dedication to Yiddish Song, the Temple Israel of Boston Cantorial Prize, and the Lee Gura Memorial Prize for Aptitude in Synagogue Choral Music.
Sarah Adams, viola, performs locally with the New York Chamber Ensemble, theย Claring Chamber Players, the Sherman Chamber Ensemble, the Friends of Mozart, and the Saratoga Chamber Players.
Violinist Michael Roth is a native of Scarsdale, NY and received his early musical training with Frances Magnes at the Hoff-Barthelson Music School. He attended Oberlin College and Conservatory, continuing his studies with Marilyn McDonald. At Oberlin, he won the Kaufman Prize for violin and First Prize in the Ohio String Teacher’s Association Competition. He completed his Master of Music degree at the University of Massachusetts where he worked with the distinguished American violinist and pedagogue Charles Treger and was a recipient of the Julian Olevsky Award.ย Mr. Roth is currently associate concertmaster of the New York City Ballet Orchestra and has appeared in chamber music and as a soloist with the company, most recently in the debut of “Slice Too Sharp”, a ballet of Biber and Vivaldi violin concerti, and “After the Rain”, violin music of Arvo Part. In addition he is a member of the Mostly Mozart Festival Orchestra, Principal 2nd violin of the Westchester Philharmonic, the American Composers Orchestra and the New York Pops. He was concertmaster of the Vermont Mozart Festival Orchestra for many years and often appeared as soloist there, as well as at the Caramoor and Bard Music Festivals. He has played and toured internationally with the Orpheus Chamber Orchestra and the New York Chamber Soloists.
Known for his sweet and โsumptuousโ (New York Times) tone, American-born Doori Na took up violin at the age of four and began his studies with Li Lin at the San Francisco Conservatory of Music. He quickly made his first performance with orchestra at age seven with the Peninsula Youth Symphony as the first prize winner of the concerto competition. Thereafter Mr. Na went on to win top prizes in The Sound of Music Festival, The Korea Times Youth Music Competition, the Chinese Music Teacherโs Association, The Menuhin Dowling Young Artist Competition, The Junior Bach Festival, VOCE of the Music Teacherโs Association of California, and The Pacific Musical Society. Receiving full scholarships to private high school Crossroads School of Arts and Sciences in Santa Monica, he moved to Los Angeles to study with renown violin teacher, Robert Lipsett, at The Colburn Music School. There he appeared as soloist with the Palisades Symphony, Brentwood Symphony, and Torrance Symphony. During that time, the summer of 2004 was Mr. Naโs first time at the Perlman Music Program where his expression and musical identity were greatly influenced. He has been a part of the program ever since and participated in many of their special residencies in Florida, Vermont, New York, and Israel.
Alan Goodis is a touring Jewish musician playing over 150 events a year. Born and raised in Toronto, Alan is a proud product of URJ Goldman Union Camp Institute. Noted for his dedication to building relationships and community through music, Alan tours throughout the US to serve as an Artist-In-Residence and performer at Temples, Youth Conventions and Jewish summer camps.
Julie Silver is one of the most celebrated and beloved performers in the world of contemporary Jewish music today. She tours throughout the world, and has been engaging audiences with her gorgeous compositions and liturgical settings, her lyrical guitar playing, her dynamic stage presence, and her megawatt smile for over 25 years.
Dan is a product of the URJ Jewish camping movement. He has toured Jewish summer camps across North America for the last 15 years. A classically trained singer, Dan received his Bachelor of Music degree in vocal performance at the University of North Carolina. In 1995, realizing the potential of music to make powerful connections with Jewish youth, Dan established the Jewish rock band Eighteen. Since that time, Dan and Eighteen have released 13 albums. Songs like, Lโtakein, Bโtzelem Elo-him, Kehillah Kedoshah, Chazak, Sweet As Honey, and Asher Yatzar have become Jewish communal anthems throughout North America.
Naomi Less is an internationally celebrated singer/songwriter, ritualist and educator. Beloved for her warm smile and inviting presence, communities celebrate her imagination and innovation, tenderness and pizzazz! Her original music is sung in worship communities worldwide. Naomi serves as Co-Founder, Ritual Leader and Associate Director of Lab/Shul and is a leader in amplifying women’s voices through her work at Songleader Boot Camp and her Jewish Women Rock show on Jewish Rock Radio. Naomiadvocates for people struggling with fertility journeys as a performance artist and speaker for Uprooted: A Jewish Response to Fertility Challenges. Fun fact: Naomi and her husband wrote the song shine/Yivarech’cha, a Friday night blessing, specifically composed for URJ Crane Lake Camp, sung every Friday night in the dining hall.
Her destiny became obvious to Joanie Leedsโ parents when, at the tender age of 2, Joanie grabbed the performerโs mic at a party and belted out the entire songโTomorrowโ from Annie. Jaws dropped! No one could remember ever hearing a big voice like that coming from one so tiny and certainly no one would have thought she would one day earn a GRAMMYยฎ Award for her original music.
A composer, multi-instrumentalist, and prayer leader, Elana Arian is one of the leading voices in contemporary Jewish music. Elanaโs music is part of Jewish life across the globe, and her compositions are sung in spiritual communities, summer camps, and synagogues from Louisville to London, from Chicago to the CzechRepublic, and everywhere in between. Elana just released her fourth album of original music, The Other Side of Fear, and her compositions have been published in countless Transcontinental Music collections. Elana serves proudly on the faculty of Hava Nashira (Oconomowoc, WI), the Wexner Heritage Foundation (Aspen, CO), Shirei Chagiga (London, England), and as an instructor at the Hebrew Union College in New York, where she teaches in the Debbie Friedman School of Sacred Music. Elana has performed at Carnegie Hall, Lincoln Center, Tanglewood, and perhaps most memorably, five separate appearances at the (Obama) White House. She lives in New York with her wife, Julia, and their two daughters, Maya and Acadia.
Known for his unique, engaging, and deeply soulful approach, Noah Aronson is considered one of the most sought after Jewish musicians in North America, making over 65 community appearances each year.
There is a reason why Time Magazine has listed Michelle in their Top Ten list of Jewish rock stars.
Kol BโSeder has been composing and performing contemporary Jewish music since the early1970s. Rabbi Dan Freelander and Cantor Jeff Klepper met as college students; over the past 50years they have released numerous CDs and songbooks. With Debbie Friedman (z”l) and others, they forged a new musical sound for American Jewish camps, schools and synagogues. Their songs, such as “Shalom Rav,โ โModeh Ani,โ and “Lo Alecha,” have become traditionalJewish melodies around the world. They are delighted to be inaugurating their fiftieth anniversary celebration by appearing in support of URJ camps, where they first composed and incubated many of their early songs.
Rabbi Mira Weller (she/her) received her ordination at Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion in Los Angeles in May 2022. She studied Culture and Politics at Georgetown Universityโs School of Foreign Service and received her Masterโs in Jewish Education at the Rhea Hirsch School of Education at HUC-JIR. She is the proud recipient of awards for her studies in rabbinic literature, her work in Jewish education, and she was granted the Myrtle Lorch Pfaelzer-Monroe Pfaelzer Award for an Outstanding Female Rabbinical School Student (2022). Rabbi Mira speaks Hebrew and Spanish (so please practice with her!). She has a passion for uncovering new possibilities in the great wealth of our tradition and for making music inspired by Judaismโs many cultures. Her guilty pleasures include cupcakes, classical music, and philosophy.
New York bassist Roger Wagner enjoys a long and diverse career. As soloist, chamber musician, and orchestral bassist, Mr. Wagner has appeared on many of the world’s great concert stages.
Sarah Adams 
Leonard Bernstein described 
Praised by the New York Times as โirresistible in both music and performance.โ flutist, 
Margaret Kampmeier, 
Michael Roth
Our initiative for young children and their grown-ups provides a slate of offerings including Shabbat and holiday celebrations, music, classroom readiness programs, and new parent experiences. During the pandemic, we have leaned on $1m of seed funding for Sholom Sprouts established through this campaign as we offer age-appropriate virtual programs for our families with young children, who are the future of our community. We look forward to welcoming our littlest members and their grown-ups back to our new fifth floor, as well as hiring a Program Assistant to increase the capacity of Sholom Sprouts to grow. This program provides a crucial entry-point to the congregation and membership for young families.
